by Shahen Araboghlian
This essay was written exclusively for the second issue of Zanazan, the London-based Armenian Institute’s recently-launched publication. You can support their activities here.
Frequenting farewells and a collapsing country are now a daily part of my Lebanese reality.
Farewells, because none of my peers intend on staying. Farewells, because they are tired of laying their plans out and watching them perish into ashes of burnt hopes and dreams.
Farewells, because “why would anyone want to stay?”
Farewells, because “Lebanon’s no longer livable.”
Farewells, because “I want my kids growing up away.”
Farewells, because “what they did to us is unforgivable!”
Farewells range from parties and drinks to tears at the airport, with “until next time…” and “make us proud!” and a selfie with a passport.
Farewells of family and friends, who want to make ends meet.
Farewells of colleagues and classmates,
who want to lift simple weights
off their shoulders.
Farewells pushed by university admissions and job applications, but not only;
Farewells to escape to territories unknown, no matter how lonely.
Farewells, because Lebanon broke our hearts one too many a time,
Farewells, because poverty’s real and the currency’s on decline.
Farewells, because we’d rather stand in museum and concert queues,
than in lines of bread and meds or begging for fuel.
Farewells, because the blast was too brutal and devastating,
As they demolished and knocked down, instead of creating.
Farewells, because life with certainty
is an impossibility here,
Rights and wants and dignity
Have all but disappeared.
Farewells, because MDs earning less than half a worth
Undoubtedly calls for brain drain.
Because art, culture, and intellect emigrate too,
I’ve seen them depart on an airplane.
Farewells, because we’re tired of being stuck in looping political traps.
Farewells, because there’s nothing left in Lebanon but continuous collapse.
A collapse of every possible sector imaginable,
A collapse, throwing us into situations unfathomable.
Collapse driven by the elite and warlords who’ve been forever ruling,
By those who profit off of collapse and failure and sectarian conflict fueling.
Collapse that’s pushed a vast majority into hunger and starvation,
Collapse caused by negligence and mismanagement of our nation.
Collapse that’s shoved a population into stress, trauma, and depression,
But also collapse that’s denied it of needed pharmaceutical medication.
Collapse, because I’m writing this on a smartphone hotspot and low battery,
Because cuts have become a norm: no proper WiFi, no electricity.
Collapse, because the news say so.
Collapse, because the stats indicate it.
Collapse head-to-toe.
Collapse, how else should I frame it?
Farewells and collapse have plagued Lebanon contagiously.
Farewells and collapse have jolted us hard, faithlessly.
Farewells and collapse have become
A part of our reality,
Our identity.
We are defined by farewells and collapse,
Farewells and collapse have defined us,
As we dance in circles in
Infamous Lebanon:
The Land of
Frequenting Farewells
& Continuous Collapse.
